Breaking Up With the Sun

Even Molly has trouble staying away from our beautiful beaches in the summer!

I knew there was such a thing as skin cancer, but never thought it could happen to me.
But a few years ago I had a brush with melanoma. Although the test results were officially inconclusive, I still ended up with a 2-inch excision scar on my hip and dermatologist appointments three times a year.
That experience was enough to end my 25-plus year relationship with tanning beds and golden brown skin.
I have always loved being tan. I have skin that’s so pale in the winter that my husband says, “If you stand against that wall I can’t see you.”
I have always spent summers on the side of some pool or beach working on my perfect tan. I had two to three suits that insured I wouldn’t have defined strap marks.
The smell of Coppertone has always been intoxicating to me.
Since my skin cancer scare, my dermatologist has done a very good job at instilling fear in me. I don’t want any more icky moles or excision scars.
Last year when the weather was colder, I didn’t have as difficult a time staying out of the sun and away from the beach. I really felt that I was able to get to the point where I thought to myself, “I’m over 40 now. Is it really that important for me to get a tan?”
My derm told me in February that I could stretch my next exam to six months and see her in August.
“But you’d better not be tan!” she warned.
This year it’s warmer. The call of the beach is stronger as my scar fades.
The love of the sun and desire for brown skin is something with which I am definitely struggling.
I think to myself, “Who cares if I have farmer lines on my arms? Seriously, does it really matter that my stomach isn’t tan? No one sees it anyway.”
And in wanting to at least be seen when standing against the dining room wall, where do I draw the line so that I don’t look like I have the flu, but don’t look like that 20-year-old who spent the entire day on the shores of Gun Lake covered in baby oil, flipping every half-hour?
Getting older means letting go of some relatively silly things, such as being tan, that in the grand scheme of things really aren’t that important.
So with a lot of sunscreen, some sunless tanner and a new attitude, I think I’ll be able to show up in my derm’s office with my head up and my moles clean.
I guess it can happen to me.