Calm Down. It's Just a Bee

A while ago I was leaving for work in my Bug convertible, with the top up so as not to ruin a perfectly good hair-do. I glanced up to see the headliner scrunched up and reached over to straighten it. I quickly looked over my shoulder to see if the other side was too and there he was. The hitchhiker. A yellow jacket of some sort clinging to the headliner. Immediately one of my favorite Gary Larson Far Side comics came to mind. It's the one with a human-sized bee sitting in the back seat and the woman driving thinking, "It's just a bee. I am not going to panic. I'll just pull over and let it out." I always laugh when I see that strip but I'm never laughing when one of those nasty things makes its way into my car. I have a sort of irrational fear of stinging insects, (for the sake of simplicity I'll just refer to them all as bees). I was always that kid who ran screaming and flailing whenever one came near me. And if one got in the car I'd get out,

open all the doors and windows an wait for it to fly out.
When I was a teenager, my dad, not knowing the consequences of his actions, plugged up a hole that contained a nest of bees. Instead of killing them, they came into the house. The expert they called in said that they'd die off in the fall, but there was nothing we could do about it. My life resembled something from a horror movie as bees entered my bedroom through cold air registers and dropped from my ceiling light. I'd lie awake at night listening to them buzz. I can vividly remember going into the basement laundry room to do my weekly chores armed with a can of Raid in one hand and a fly swatter in the other. I learned to manage my fear when I became a teacher. If a bee entered the room I would have to swallow my panic and say "It's just a bee boys and girls. If you don't bother it, it won't

bother you. We'll just open the window and let it out." On this particular morning in my car, I realized I could not drive all the way to school hunched over the steering wheel waiting to feel it land on the back of my neck. In fact, you may have seen me. I was the one with the top of the car half off, dumping the contents of my school bag on the ground next to the car after it had fallen in.  Oh I know. I probably looked ridiculous.

After all, it was just a bee.