I Don't Have a Problem...I Just Need More Chapstick

I can pinpoint to the moment when the lip balm problem began. I was on the bus in 7th grade and a kid named Chris yelled, "Hey Raisin-Lips!" There I was, completely humiliated and scarred for life. At that moment I vowed to never be called a name like "raisin-lips" again. I have always been a very girly-girl and appearance has been important to me. It would be natural to assume that calling any 7th grade girl a name like "Raisin-Lips" would be damaging, but calling a girl with self-image issues that same name launched a dependence on lip products that has lasted over 30 years. I sometimes call it an addiction because when I don't have Chapstick in a pocket or nearby, I instantly begin to feel panicky and my lips start to dry up and hurt. These are very real, physical symptoms triggered by a fear that I might be more than a 5 minute drive the nearest Walgreens. I never leave the house without making sure I have a tube of lip balm in my pocket, and my purse, and the car. I'm like the guy who has to light a cigarette on his way from the car to the Walmart entrance. I know I'm not alone either. My friend posted on my Facebook page that she was at a concert and forgot her Chapstick at home. I almost made the 20 minute drive to bring her some. I can relate! Don't get me wrong. I don't in any way minimize the real, physical struggles that are part of the lives of those with substance abuse issues. I understand that my dependence, (and that is what it really is, dependence), on Chapstick in no way compares to the dependence one has on drugs or alcohol. Lip balm addiction isn't life threatening and I won't lose my family or job because of it. I can say that it does interfere with my life. I can honestly agree with step 1 of the various Twelve Step programs, that I am powerless over cherry Blistick, which is my balm of choice. Did you know that there are actually articles, websites, and blogs dedicated to the topic of lip balm addiction? Go ahead and Google "Chapstick addiction" and you'll be astounded at what comes up. Here are a few things I have learned from these sources.
Vaseline or petroleum jelly will actually pull moisture from your lips, causing you to need to re-apply more frequently. I know this to be true because I used to carry a hand lotion sized tube around in my purse.
Any sort of mint flavor is irritating to lips.
Tarter control toothpaste will dry out lips. I tried using the whitening toothpaste and it does the same thing. I stick to plain old regular Colgate.
So wherever you are, Chris from 7th grade. I'm placing the blame directly on you. My name is Dawn. And I'm a Chapstick-aholic.