A Few Simple Rules for Staying Home Alone

At parent teacher conferences I always get to talk to at a least a few parents who are raising boys and I think back to when our boys were young. They were pretty active and at times needed some pretty specific rules and guidance. Our boys are older now so we don't have much when it comes to rules other than, "Make smart choices," "Be home at a reasonable hour," and "Call if your plans change." They really aren't rules as much as they are guidelines. I am a worrier though. I'm the kind of parent that worries that if I don't say it, the worst might happen. I have said "Watch for deer" so many times that the kids thought it was funny to beat me to it and yell "Watch for deer!" on their way out the door. But then when Tom and I hit one with our motorcycle last fall I said, "See! It CAN happen. Anyone care to mock me now?"
When we first started leaving the kids home alone we had the fairly standard list of rules like "No fighting" and "No calling Mom or Dad for stupid reasons." Of course we had to be specific. "An emergency means someone has lost a limb, not Robby won't give me the remote." When they were old enough for whittling with pocket knives and air soft guns we would leave saying "No guns. No knives"  One day I specifically remember leaving for a ride on the motorcycle and as I swung my leg over the bike I called out "There's some steak on the stove!" Then at the same time Tom and I both yelled, "Don't eat the steak! There's yogurt in fridge" (obviously, someone could choke).
No guns
No knives
No solid food

For a while there it seemed like we were adding a new rule to the list every time we went out. Like the time we came home and one child had tied the other one up and left him in the back yard.
No rope

Someone learned that you could set fire to ants and leaves in the driveway with a magnifying glass.
No fire

"Robby broke the couch."
"How do you know he broke it. Looks fine to me"
"Well, we heard a huge crack when he hit it after jumping off the balcony."
No jumping off the balcony.

"Geeze! What can we do?"
"You can stay upstairs and watch a movie. Your brother can stay downstairs and play xbox."
I'm thankful that those days passed us by without serious injury or fire department intervention. These days when we leave all we say is "Clean up after yourselves and don't forget to feed the dog." And the response?  "OK. Watch for deer!"