Adjusting to the Empty Nest

And so the nest is empty. Everyone who has been through it says it’s hard at first, but “You’ll adjust.”  I thought about writing this column earlier in the summer, but decided that I wanted to have the full effect. All the feelings. I think that life prepares you for the day that your kids will finally leave home and go live off on their own. Slowly you begin to get a feel for what it will be like when the kids are gone. It’s in small doses, but the small doses get more frequent and for longer periods of time.

The sleepovers.

The summer camps.

The weeks at Grandma’s.

The summer jobs.

And let’s not forget the attitudes and the moods. Those attitudes and moods are also what prepare you to think to yourself “OK. I don’t think there really is an empty nest syndrome because I’m going to love it!” I once asked a friend about how he was doing when his son left for college. “It was time for him to go,” was the firm but humorous response. We sort of got to ease our way into the empty nest. Our older son took his time, saved some money, and moved out into his own place this past June. Our younger son left for college, came back, and left again. Only this time it’s somehow different. Last time his older brother was still here to soften the blow. And he was only an hour away, making frequent returns during ski season. This time the brother is gone and the college is farther. The next time we see him could possibly be Thanksgiving. We’ve been cushioning this departure with our variety of pets and livestock in the form of 1 dog, 2 cats, and 6 chickens.

            “Pretty soon it’s going to be just you, me, and all of these animals,” I said to Tom.

            “And thank God for all the animals,” was his reply.

It was funny when he said it, but now the house is quiet. Nobody will be home “later.” Nobody has to call to let us know if he’s staying the night somewhere else. I’m buying fewer groceries and doing less laundry. There are less dirty socks and half empty glasses to pick up. Bedrooms are cleaned out and ready for paint. We should be joyous at this new stage in our lives, but we are sad. Sometimes I wish I had had a few more kids because I’m not ready to be an empty-nester. I like the “HI Mom’s” and “What’s to eat around here; I’m starving!” For the last 2 months I didn’t yell about the pile of dropped clothes at the end of the hallway by the kitchen because I knew that pretty soon that pile wouldn’t be there anymore. Today is that day. The pile is gone. The nest is empty. It’s just Tom and me and all of these animals. But I’m pretty sure we’ll adjust.