My new favorite author is Jen Hatmaker. I recently read her
book For the Love and enjoyed
every minute of it. My favorite chapter was the one about LAP (leggings as
pants) and TAP (tights as pants). She’s a girl after my own heart on the
subject, especially when she says:
Leggings-As-Pants (LAP) is
permissible if the following rule is obeyed: Your privates are covered by a
shirt, sweater, or dress. Privates heretofore are understood as areas north of
upper thigh and south of muffintop. I don’t want to see your hinterlands…I am
just shopping at Target and feel like I’ve gotten to second base with you.
Jen is about 8 years younger than me so this might be a new
phenomenon for her, but if you went to high school in the mid 80’s like I did,
leggings as pants are not. We just didn’t call them leggings. We called them
“stretch pants” or “stirrup pants” (for which I am anxiously awaiting a
comeback). We wore our beloved stretch
pants under cute swishy skirts in capri length (except we didn’t call them
capris either), or ankle length, with either Tintables pumps or flats. If we
wore leggings as pants they were always under a long, oversized sweater,
sweatshirt, or tshirt. Never were our “hinterlands” on display for the general
public (unless you were writhing around on the hood of a car in a Whitesnake
video). In those days we thought that leaving something to the imagination was
a good thing when it came to stretch pants. And we never wore tights as pants.
We just didn’t. It’s weird.
And while I’m on the
subject, tight jeans aren’t new either. These days I find the banter about skin
tight “jeggings” to be quite comical. If you are my age, you undoubtedly jumped
up and down, swiveling your hips to and fro to pull up those Jordache jeans
that you saved up your babysitting money for, and then laid on your bed like a
mannequin, in order to get them zipped. There was no stretch in those jeans. It
took a few deep squats and a prayer in order to get them to the point of
walking in a somewhat normal manner without blowing out the zipper you worked
so hard to pull up (maybe with pliers). When you could bend over, you pegged
the ankles, slipped on your flats or pumps and off you went. But before you
left you tossed on that oversized sweater or sweatshirt to cover up the
unsightly muffin top, because again, we understood the importance of leaving
something to the imagination.
I loved the 80’s. I loved the hair, the clothes, the “Girls
Just Wanna Have Fun” music, big, oversized shirts, and the stretch pants. I
love the return of those fashions and colors. I’m glad it’s back in style and
I’m happy that women my age can enjoy the trends without scorn. But I tend to
agree with Jen when it comes to covering up. Wear what is comfortable ladies,
just please remember to leave a little something to the imagination.
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