Got Your Manners?

Wow, it's the middle of July and I just realized that I didn't post my June column! Where is the summer going? I may be a teacher, but I'm definitely not hanging out at the lake. Work beckons 12 months of the year! Well, here it is. Enjoy!

"Doesn't anyone have manners anymore?" I grumbled to my husband yet again as we left the grocery store. I don't know if I'm just overly sensitive, or if there really is a lack of manners in our society. When my friend Lynn's son was much younger, she would cheerfully call out "Got your manners?" as she dropped him off at our house. "Yup!" he would respond as if he had "please" and "thank you" neatly tucked into his pocket. I thought it was such a sweet reminder that I started using it with my own kids. When I was a kid, my mom was a stickler for manners. I'd say "Can I have a cookie?" And she'd respond with, "I don't know, can you?" Although it never happened I vividly remember being reminded that I might feel the pain of a fork in the back of my hand if I reached across the table for food as "Please pass the corn" was an expected exchange at our dinner table. I have carried on the expectation of common courtesy in my own classroom. For instance, if a child asks for something I ask, "Do you have nice manners?" while waiting for a "please" or "thank you." Young children are usually in a hurry to get where ever they're going so I am constantly saying "Say excuse me!" There used to be a Dear Abby-type column in the paper called "Miss Manners" for people who were unclear about the whole concept of being polite. It was a question and answer column mostly having to do with etiquette. The answers always began with "Miss Manners says..." I actually think we do a pretty good job at teaching our kids to use their manners, but somewhere along the way we seem to forget to "practice what we preach," which brings me to my irritation at other shoppers in the grocery store. When I need to push my cart in front of another shopper I usually say "excuse me." Then in my head I wait for the "oh that's ok" that never comes. Sometimes I get a little obnoxious and repeat "excuse me!" In a louder voice as if they didn't hear me the first time. Or when someone pushes their cart in front of me or grabs something off of a shelf that I was looking at I again, assume an "excuse me" is coming. I even say "oh! I'm sorry!" which is frequently met with a blank stare or less. This kind of behavior has transcended all socioeconomic groups. I have nearly been run over by drivers in the nicest cars without even an "Oops I almost hospitalized you" wave of regret. It's almost the opposite; kind of a "You shouldn't have been in that clearly marked crosswalk glare" instead. I guess my point is that I think the world would be a much happier place if we all made sure our manners were neatly tucked in our pockets before we left home. At least grocery shopping would be for me.