And Watch for Deer

This was my November column, which I should have posted before the "Break-crastinator" piece. So you get two for the price of one this month. Lucky you! 

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to drive in Northern Michigan with that relaxing, cruising on a fall evening feeling. I have this fear of hitting a deer with my car that is reaching phobia level. I have always been leery of deer ever since I moved north of the 45^th parallel, (which by the way, is almost exactly where we hit the deer on our motorcycle a few years back). I tend to categorize things in my head, and car-deer collisions fall into two categories:

            1. Has hit a deer with the car

            2. Will hit a deer with the car

Before we hit the deer with our motorcycle, I used to begin to pray as dusk was approaching, “Please keep us safe,” or “Please get us home safely.” Since technically we did get home safely on that night, I’ve had to adjust my prayer to, “Please don’t let us hit anything, and don’t let anything hit us.” Now that we’ve made it through riding season, it’s full on deer-car collision season. I have resumed my “Bye! love you! watch for deer!” saying every time someone leaves the house. Last night I caught myself saying the “watch for deer” part  a second time, louder because I wasn’t sure if Robby heard me the first time, (because of course, if he happens to hit one and I hadn’t said the “watch for deer” part, it would clearly be my fault, right?).

Now that I’m leaving for work in the dark and returning from work in the dusk, my driving anxiety is at an all time high.  I see a car on the side of the road and the mangled remains of some poor unsuspecting Bambi, just trying to get over to the other side for whatever reason. I drive slower. I watch for flashing lights to alert me of impending doom. The other morning, opening day of firearms deer season, I was literally driving 45mph. I had the radio off because I most certainly couldn’t risk getting caught up singing “Can’t Stop the Feeling” and miss those eyes looking at me from 2 feet off the roadway. I’m not completely unfounded in my fear. I have had some near-misses. Once a huge buck came out of nowhere and literally jumped over the hood of my SUV as I drove at about 35 miles per hour. I am a huge proponent of deer hunting for that reason. In fact, I think firearms season should be longer, just to get more of those menaces off the road. I was telling this to one of my co-workers who replied with, “ I agree! I’ve hit 4 of them with my car.” I could go on and on with stories of friends hitting deer with their cars, but I’m sure you can too. So if you come upon me, early in the morning, driving unreasonably slow through “deer alley” as I like to call it, don’t get annoyed. Just safely go around me and say a little prayer that we don’t hit anything and nothing hits us. And please. Watch for deer.

The Break-crastinator

I have been an educator for over 25 years now and can say with certainty that the occupation has its ups and downs. One of the ups is definitely taking breaks throughout the year. It was probably the best career choice for me as a working mom. Once the kids were school age and out of daycare, I couldn’t think of a better career that could afford me the luxury of being able to be home with my kids when they were home. Although this is a definite benefit, it can have its drawbacks as well. One, for instance, is that I’m pretty much limited to vacationing during the school mandated break times, which makes taking trips with my non-teacher friends during lower cost airfare months tricky. It also pretty much means that taking advantage of someone’s timeshare during the non-blackout dates won’t happen. Ever.

I’ve gotten accustomed to my regularly scheduled breaks with some rather bad habits. I am becoming a break-crastinator. That is a person who puts off stuff because she knows she can do it during the forthcoming break. I’m that person who puts off shopping, laundry folding, doctor/dentist/hair appointments, reading books, and yes, even correcting papers, because hey, I’ll just do it over break. The problem with that is that when break finally gets here, I’ve left little room for the lying around that most non-educators think we do with our time off.  Christmas break this year was no different. And Christmas break is unique because it occurs in chunks.

1. The before Christmas last minute shopping, wrapping, and cooking chunk.

2. The after Christmas cleaning stuff up and taking stuff back chunk.

3. The Robby’s birthday chunk

4. The chunk that should be the lying around chunk

5. The New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day chunk

6. The I’m going back to school tomorrow and I have to get in my classroom and get ready for the week chunk

This year I had high hopes for doing more reading during the lying around chunk. I don’t do much reading for pleasure during the school year. There’s just too much going on. So when I have a book I want to read, I usually set it aside for the next break. This year, I didn’t get the reading time I had hoped for because I break-crastinated so many other obligations, there wasn’t time left to sit down and power through a whole book, let alone the six I had set aside.  But that’s OK. I’m not worried. I’ll just save them for spring break. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time then.