To Confess or Not to Confess?

I was having a texting conversation with a friend about some shoes I was considering buying. They were a little pricy, but of course I could justify them due to the increasing number of mornings I hobble out of bed with foot pain,(If you don't know what I'm talking about just wait, 40 is right around the corner). They are the Dansko brand which are expensive by nature, but I had found them online at a good price, (score!). The conversation was about whether or not I should confess to Tom that I was planning to get these very necessary, yet wallet-squeezing pair of shoes.

"I just have to decide if I'm going to sneak-buy them now and take the consequences later or be a grown up and say something before I buy them" I said.

"Say something now and get it over with and buy them...it's a great price!" was her advice.

So I humbly confronted Tom to tell him I was getting these shoes because I really need them and they are really a bargain, compared to full price! It actually didn't go as bad as I thought. In fact, I don't know why I'm so reluctant to divulge my little spending sprees, which really don't happen that often. Maybe it's because as wives and mothers, we don't feel like we deserve to indulge a little on ourselves every once in a while. I mean, I have shoes that are older than Sammy, so why do I feel like I need to ask permission to replace them? Maybe it's because there's always someone else who needs something so we feel guilty putting ourselves ahead of someone's new pair of winter boots.

If I'm confessing here I probably should say that my sneak-buy it now-repent later spending isn't anything new. Tom has already learned the old "buy something and destroy the packaging-leave it in the closet for a week and then wear it saying that it isn't new" a long time ago. Now he says "When'd you get that?" instead of "Is that new?" I'm really trying to turn over a new leaf, especially after last tax season when I had to sit next to him and scroll through pages of books I had bought off Amazon for my classroom without his knowledge. And then I wonder why he thinks I spend more that I really do? So I humbly pledge to turn over a new leaf. No more sneak-buying...right after I check out the sale at Old Navy.

Singing the Praises of Online Shopping

I jumped up from the couch and sang a little song that I made up. It goes like this (with no real tune), "Awesome! Awesome! Christmas shopping is over! That's Awesome!" One thing in particular that I love about living in the present day is online shopping. I love it that I can have 3 stores open at once and never step foot in any of them. I love it that I don't have to haul 6 bags around a crowded mall, breaking out in a sweat because I decided not to freeze my butt off and leave my coat in the car since I had to park in the back 40. Ten months out of the year I love traditional shopping. I love the smell of the stores and I love the little bags with handles from Bath & Body Works and American Eagle. But as soon as November hits, literally the last place I want to be is in a department store or mall. In my middle age I have developed a sort of pushy-people, not sure what I'm getting anybody, anxiety. It's the same kind of feeling I get when I'm in the pet store with all of the un-caged giant birds flapping their wings and screeching "Hello!" at me. Online shopping has been a Heaven send for me. I can sit on my couch with a cup of coffee and take my time. I know who likes which kinds of jeans and I can order them with the touch of a screen. If one store doesn't have them I search for another store without warming up my car. I can flip back to my email and remember to plug in that code that will save me an extra $20 off of my order. I can use credit or Paypal. What's even better is that I can order something right when I'm thinking of it, and then I can search for it until I find it like I did with that random motorcycle part that I knew Tom wanted. Oh I know some of you already have me pegged as an anti-Christmas grinch with my fake tree and the fact that I put off decorating until some actually notices that I haven't done it. But the beauty of being me is that I knew that, yet I still did it that way pretty much guilt-free. Christmas morning was still great because nobody cared how those gifts got under that plastic tree. We all had something to open and it was a lovely day surrounded by family and pets. And now as I reflect on that lovely day I can focus on my newest venture, song writing.

Men: Don't Try to Understand the Shoes

Sorry I'm a little late getting this one up. I'm consumed with second grade! Here's August's column!

There are some things about women that will always be a mystery to men, like our love of shoes. I went to Walmart recently to purchase plastic shoe boxes to use as book totes in my classroom. I needed roughly 40 boxes because I was sorting my books into categories. When I told the cashier that I had 8 five-packs she looked at me funny. “What are you using those for?” When I explained she said “Oh, I thought you had that many pair of shoes.” I laughed for a second, but then I said, “Well, actually, I probably do.” When she looked at me with a shocked expression, I continued with “uh, that includes sandals and flip-flops too, you know?” Then suddenly the woman behind me in line piped up “And the shoes you don’t wear anymore.” Then the cashier joined in and described a pair of boots she only had worn once because they were so uncomfortable but she couldn’t bear to get rid of them. My love affair with shoes began when I was in high school. A friend of mine had a 3 tier shelf that extended the length of her closet and was covered with shoes. She had seasonal shoes, boots, athletic, casual, and dressy shoes. I gazed with envy at that beautiful shrine of shoes and decided then and there that I would have to have just as many. Fast-forward to 2012 and my 40+ pair of shoes. My husband doesn’t seem to understand my need for a variety of footwear in an assortment colors and styles. The topic came up in a conversation with our friends a few months ago. Lisa had gotten a new job and would need shoes she could wear to work and stand on her feet in all day. She needed two pair- one brown, one black. Her husband didn’t understand the need for both brown and black as the shoes were a bit pricy.  While I thought she could uses several other colors, depending on her wardrobe, my husband piped right in and explained how I have to purchase a new pair of athletic shoes every time I take up a new sport, which in his opinion was utterly ridiculous. You’d think that after 20 years of trying to explain it to him he’d understand my reasoning. The shoes must fit the purpose in both color and style.  I think my friend Keni summed it up best when she was explaining to her son the reason why his younger sister would be getting the room with the bigger closet in their new home.  She said, “Boys only need 3 pair of shoes: school shoes, gym shoes, and church shoes, but girls need lots and lots of shoes.  So your sister needs the bigger closet to hold her shoes.” So simple, yet so true.  I guess there are just some things guys will need to accept without ever fully understanding. Love me-love my shoes.

Confessions of a (middle-aged) Shopaholic

I love going to the mall because I love shopping. I enjoy the feeling that comes with getting a cute new outfit or the perfect pair of shoes. My shopping roots run deep. My grandma and I shared a love of Liz Claiborne and shoes. When I was a middle school student, my friends and I thought nothing of spending 4 hours at the Lansing Mall making $5 last all day. As I grew older, the stores of choice grew with me. In college my favorite stores were Limited Express and the Gap.  I knew that the best deals were on the clearance racks at the back of the store and that was where I headed first. I could dress in style, on a budget. A few months ago I had the opportunity to do some power shopping at the Rivertown Mall near Grand Rapids. This particular trip to the mall had me feeling somewhat dazed and overwhelmed. It wasn’t just the fact that it had been such a long time since I had the opportunity to shop for myself. Venturing into stores like Aeropostale or American Eagle make me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I am just sure that the girls at the counter either believe that I am buying something for a teenager, or wonder what in the heck an old lady like me is doing looking for clothes in such a young, hip store. I stumbled in and out of stores not really seeing anything that I felt like I’d be comfortable wearing. I found myself thinking “Cute skirt, but too young for me.”  And I thought that a lot. I remember walking down the mall and looking up to see the Sears sign illuminating in the distance. It was like a beacon of light that guided me down the vast expanse of the mall. I entered the large store and felt a wave of relief come over me. There in front of me were the age-appropriate Lands End clothes that I had been seeking and off to the right were racks and racks of clearance items. I discovered that it isn’t important where the clothes are, but that I like them and I feel comfortable wearing them. Sure, I’ll wear the cool jeans that someone ½ my age passed on to me, but for me as a shopper I realized that I’m OK with clothes from Sears, JC Penny, Target and Walmart. Heck, Meijer has some really cute stuff too. Fortunately for me, my elementary aged students could care less what I have on, let alone where it came from.  And that’s just fine with me.

Published May, 2011