To Confess or Not to Confess?

I was having a texting conversation with a friend about some shoes I was considering buying. They were a little pricy, but of course I could justify them due to the increasing number of mornings I hobble out of bed with foot pain,(If you don't know what I'm talking about just wait, 40 is right around the corner). They are the Dansko brand which are expensive by nature, but I had found them online at a good price, (score!). The conversation was about whether or not I should confess to Tom that I was planning to get these very necessary, yet wallet-squeezing pair of shoes.

"I just have to decide if I'm going to sneak-buy them now and take the consequences later or be a grown up and say something before I buy them" I said.

"Say something now and get it over with and buy them...it's a great price!" was her advice.

So I humbly confronted Tom to tell him I was getting these shoes because I really need them and they are really a bargain, compared to full price! It actually didn't go as bad as I thought. In fact, I don't know why I'm so reluctant to divulge my little spending sprees, which really don't happen that often. Maybe it's because as wives and mothers, we don't feel like we deserve to indulge a little on ourselves every once in a while. I mean, I have shoes that are older than Sammy, so why do I feel like I need to ask permission to replace them? Maybe it's because there's always someone else who needs something so we feel guilty putting ourselves ahead of someone's new pair of winter boots.

If I'm confessing here I probably should say that my sneak-buy it now-repent later spending isn't anything new. Tom has already learned the old "buy something and destroy the packaging-leave it in the closet for a week and then wear it saying that it isn't new" a long time ago. Now he says "When'd you get that?" instead of "Is that new?" I'm really trying to turn over a new leaf, especially after last tax season when I had to sit next to him and scroll through pages of books I had bought off Amazon for my classroom without his knowledge. And then I wonder why he thinks I spend more that I really do? So I humbly pledge to turn over a new leaf. No more sneak-buying...right after I check out the sale at Old Navy.

Men: Don't Try to Understand the Shoes

Sorry I'm a little late getting this one up. I'm consumed with second grade! Here's August's column!

There are some things about women that will always be a mystery to men, like our love of shoes. I went to Walmart recently to purchase plastic shoe boxes to use as book totes in my classroom. I needed roughly 40 boxes because I was sorting my books into categories. When I told the cashier that I had 8 five-packs she looked at me funny. “What are you using those for?” When I explained she said “Oh, I thought you had that many pair of shoes.” I laughed for a second, but then I said, “Well, actually, I probably do.” When she looked at me with a shocked expression, I continued with “uh, that includes sandals and flip-flops too, you know?” Then suddenly the woman behind me in line piped up “And the shoes you don’t wear anymore.” Then the cashier joined in and described a pair of boots she only had worn once because they were so uncomfortable but she couldn’t bear to get rid of them. My love affair with shoes began when I was in high school. A friend of mine had a 3 tier shelf that extended the length of her closet and was covered with shoes. She had seasonal shoes, boots, athletic, casual, and dressy shoes. I gazed with envy at that beautiful shrine of shoes and decided then and there that I would have to have just as many. Fast-forward to 2012 and my 40+ pair of shoes. My husband doesn’t seem to understand my need for a variety of footwear in an assortment colors and styles. The topic came up in a conversation with our friends a few months ago. Lisa had gotten a new job and would need shoes she could wear to work and stand on her feet in all day. She needed two pair- one brown, one black. Her husband didn’t understand the need for both brown and black as the shoes were a bit pricy.  While I thought she could uses several other colors, depending on her wardrobe, my husband piped right in and explained how I have to purchase a new pair of athletic shoes every time I take up a new sport, which in his opinion was utterly ridiculous. You’d think that after 20 years of trying to explain it to him he’d understand my reasoning. The shoes must fit the purpose in both color and style.  I think my friend Keni summed it up best when she was explaining to her son the reason why his younger sister would be getting the room with the bigger closet in their new home.  She said, “Boys only need 3 pair of shoes: school shoes, gym shoes, and church shoes, but girls need lots and lots of shoes.  So your sister needs the bigger closet to hold her shoes.” So simple, yet so true.  I guess there are just some things guys will need to accept without ever fully understanding. Love me-love my shoes.