I Miss "Mom-ing"

When our son was suffering from an illness, he came to the house and sat in our hot tub, took some alka-seltzer plus cold medicine, ate some homemade soup from the fridge, and spent a day on our couch watching Netflix. About a week later his wife, came down with the same bug. Since she chose to stay at their apartment and recuperate, I asked if we could drop off some soup. On our way over we also stopped at Walgreens where I got some more cold medicine, Kleenex, some cozy socks, and a Sprite. I dropped off the goody bag and didn’t think much more about it. About a week later, I heard Melody tell Robby that he should feel grateful that he got stuff like that when he was a kid. I don’t know how he responded, but the more I thought about that, the more I felt I had to set the record straight.

            “Remember when you told Robby that he should feel fortunate to get stuff like that growing up? Well, he really didn’t.” I went on to tell her that I did the normal “mom stuff” when the boys were sick, but I didn’t go all out and do little goody bags or anything like that. I told her that I just miss them so much, that I kind of go overboard when I get a chance. The truth is, I just really miss “mom-ing.” We’ve been doing this empty nest thing for a few years now, and although we are pretty much adjusted to this new season of life, whenever we get the opportunity to do something extra for our kids, we do. I love nothing more than being able to take my college-bound son grocery shopping. Letting him fill the cart with bags of frozen green beans and chicken breast, peanut butter and jelly, and cans and cans of soup, fills my heart with joy. Tom is the same. If Robby mentions that he needs certain parts for his motorcycle, Tom will just get them and make sure they are here when Robby comes over to work on his bike. We don’t go crazy or give them anything they want. I just see it more like filling a little hole that we got when they moved out. I make cookies and send them to Sam in a care package about once a semester. And when I have extra soup I drop it off at work for Robby. And when I see something I think Melody would like, I pick it up for her. And if one of those kids gets sick and I get a chance to do a little “mom-ing” someone can expect some homemade soup and a little goody bag filled with love.

On Accepting the Minimalist Challenge

The new buzzword these days seems to be “minimalism,” which is basically the concept of living with less. At first, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about becoming a “minimalist.”  But then my husband and I watched a documentary about minimalism and were totally captivated. We were in the midst of trying to decide whether or not to sell our house and started thinking about all of the stuff we have accumulated while living here for the past 15 years and wondered how we would fit it all in a much smaller house.  Shortly after that, I saw something on Instagram called the “Minimalist Challenge.” So for the month of October, we both decided to take on the challenge to see if we could make a dent in this vast accumulation of stuff that we can’t seem to live without. The challenge is that for each day of the month, you throw away, recycle, sell, or donate that number of things. For example, on October 15, we would each throw away, recycle, sell or donate 15 things. It was a little bit difficult on those first days.

October 1^st: One item from the junk drawer

October 2^nd: Two things from the junk drawer

October 5^th: Five things from the junk drawer

But as the dates got higher, it got easier.

October 9^th: 9 different unused kitchen gadgets

October 15^th: 15 canning jars of various sizes and shapes

October 26^th: Way more than 26 interlocking floor tiles from the basement family room.

Obviously, we couldn’t exactly follow the challenge because some days we got very carried away, throwing, selling, recycling, or donating hundreds of things, like the day Tom got rid of a 5 gallon bucket of assorted screws & nails.  And on the day I cleaned out my closet, 3 large bags full of clothes went to either the dumpster, Threadup, or Good Will. Far more than the 12 things that should have gone on October 12^th. There was also the day I cleaned out the plastic storage container drawer. There isn’t a date that coincides with the number of random lid-less containers, and container-less lids I was able to recycle. And on the day I cleaned out my craft/sewing area I said goodbye to my scrapbooking hobby, my jewelry-making hobby, and my “yarn I’m never going to crochet into anything” collection.

At the end of the month, we could both say that the challenge was a success and we felt much lighter because of it. Unfortunately, I went a little crazy on closet clean-out day because I wound up replacing some key items of clothing that I really shouldn’t have parted with. I’m not sure if we would call ourselves minimalists now, but I think there is value in learning to appreciate a life with less. I’m thinking twice before pushing that yellow “Place Your Order” button these days, and it feels good.