Those Pesky Left Turns

 I love fall. The days are getting cooler. The leaves are changing. Decorations are adorable. But the real reason I love fall is that I once again can make left turns in my car. I understand that the summer residents and tourists breathe life into our area and I can appreciate that. I really can. I have friends who are business owners and I want nothing more for them than that they have successful summer seasons. But when the summer winds down and the streets begin to empty out, I am ready. 

During the summer months I drive miles out of my way to be able to do simple things that I take for granted in the winter. Like many locals, I know the ways to avoid Charlevoix bridge traffic (for the most part) and drive to the intersections where I will be let in. I also have learned to pre plan my errands so that I can avoid making left turns. I do make the occasional “Michigan Left” (turn right, turn left into a business parking lot, turn right into traffic), but that’s only if I didn’t plan ahead. For example, if I have several errands to make in Petoskey on a given day during the summer, I’ll put them in order so that the only left turns I have to make are at the lights. It has driven my family members crazy on more than one occasion. “Nope. Can’t go to JC Penny yet. We have to go to Dunham’s, Marshall’s, Walmart, Aldi, Hobby Lobby, and then JC Penny. In that order.” “Hungry for Wendy’s? You’ll have to wait until we are on our way home because there is no way in heck I’m turning left into that restaurant and then trying to merge into traffic again.” 

There are other reasons I like the slower pace of the fall and winter months. Horn-honking is rare from September to April. I can flake out at the traffic light and nobody honks at me to get out of the way. I rarely get passed on US-31 and I don’t feel the rush to pass anyone either. From September to April I almost never get caught behind a giant RV towing a 4 door Jeep. I also just like when things slow down in town. Getting a table in a restaurant is much easier, and to my husband’s pleasure, all you can eat fish frys resume after Labor Day. 

As always, I wish the summer residents and tourists adieu for another busy season and bid them well as they return to wherever it is they hibernate for the winter. As it is in every tourist town, when the snow melts, we will welcome back the seasonal residents. Once again, the familiar signs of summer will be that first honking horn, getting caught at the bridge, and the inability to make a left turn.

Camping Girl

 Camping. A summer pastime that I absolutely love. I don’t camp nearly as often as I used to, or would like to. Growing up, camping was our weekend getaway. We had our family camper on a little campground at a place called Shady Rest in Jones, Michigan. I have many fond memories from spending time there. So to me, camping is in my blood.

Our friends recently invited us along on a camping trip up in the U.P. Since they all have campers, they have been suggesting that we get one and questioned why we don’t. We used to have a camper, but when the maintenance became more frequent than the camping itself, we had to let it go. It was around that time that we did some tent camping and found out we liked the ease of it. We found that don’t need to pull a camper behind our truck in order to enjoy the outdoors. We insisted that tent camping is way easier than hauling a trailer. The only problem can be rain. Nobody likes to sit out the rain in a wet tent. However, when it came time to pack for our trip, the list of things we needed to bring quickly got overwhelming. I was starting to think that this wasn’t going to be as simple as I remembered. The top items on the list were the biggies. Tent, air mattress, bedding. And I couldn’t forget the flashlights for those late night trips to the restroom.

And then there was the cooking. We needed to take cooking pans, plates, silverware, napkins, and something to wash dishes in. I also needed to have a place to store food. Since we don’t have a refrigerator, we needed to plan for a cooler and lots of ice refills. I reminded Tom that all of that needed to be secured because of bears.

The list continued to include activities like kayaks, bikes, and motorcycles. Should we bring yard games? Card games? Fishing equipment?

And then were the clothes. The northern UP was calling for weather in the 60’s which isn’t exactly shorts and t-shirt weather. So in addition to those, we packed jeans, sweatshirts, long sleeve t-shirts, and extra pairs of dry socks and shoes. As I thought of more things we needed to bring, my list went from one page to two pages.

I know it seems like most of this stuff would already be in a camper so that we’d only have to grab some clothes and hook on. But no problem. We got this! It turns out that we were right. We don’t need a camper. We can simply fit everything we need for tent camping neatly our haul-behind cargo trailer. And hope it doesn’t rain.

Mystery Solved

I spent 3 days trying to figure out why my forearms, elbows, and right bicep hurt so bad, until it came to me: the cartwheel. It all started when my son posted a picture on Instagram of his wife doing a handstand on one of the piers in Marquette. My husband decided that he wanted to recreate the picture when we traveled there this past weekend, only he’d be the one doing the handstand on the pier. “I don’t even know if I can do a handstand,” he wondered. “This could get real bad, real fast, “ I thought in response. When we got to the pier and discovered how narrow it was, we began to have serious second thoughts. “Do you realize that if you make one wrong move, you’ll end up falling 15 feet into those rocks down there?” Tom said to me. I really didn’t want to see either one of us over-throw our legs while trying to kick up into a handstand on a 3 foot wide pier. I mean, how in the world would the ambulance get out there? Let’s be smart here, people.  “Maybe I can do a cartwheel and you can just take a picture of that,” I suggested.

There are a couple things I need to admit here. I am 52 years old. I haven’t done a cartwheel since 1993. I have never done a cartwheel on a 3 foot wide cement pier.

But that shouldn’t matter should it? I mean, c’mon. It’s a cartwheel. Historically, cartwheels are one of those things that seem to come naturally to girls. Just like riding a bike…isn’t it? What could possibly go wrong? So I took a look at the pier, stretched my arms in the air, and froze. Momentarily. Then I just went for it. My body did nothing that it was supposed to. Apparently my muscle memory had expired. All of those thousands and thousands of cartwheels, one-handed cartwheels, and ariel cartwheels? Gone. Remember watching the boys in middle school gym class attempt cartwheels? That’s what it felt like and according to the 17 pictures Tom took as this ridiculous demonstration took place, is exactly what it looked like. After I deleted all of those pictures, I decided that either I should never attempt a cartwheel again, or I really need to work on my cartwheel executions. Which brings me back to the arm pain 3 days later. Apparently, these arms can no longer hold up my body, even briefly. And remember how I said that it was Tom’s idea to recreate the handstand picture to begin with? Those of you who know him, know he’s not a handstand kind of guy. But thanks to modern camera-phone technology I am happy to report that we successfully staged Tom doing what looked something like a handstand, snapped a picture, and sent it off to the kids. Nobody fell off the pier. And only one of us has the arm pain to show for it.  

Covid Lock Down Thank Yous

As we slowly return to semi-normalcy, to a world with more masks and less handshakes, I feel like I need to acknowledge the things which made my life in quasi-quarantine more bearable. It is time for me to say “Thank you.”

Thank you sweat pants. Your casual ease with which you provided me relaxation in a time of stress was immeasurable. The way you coordinated effortlessly with slippers and a sweater when I was teaching Zoom lessons goes without saying. You became activewear, loungewear, workwear and sleepwear. I will never take you for grated again.

Thank you eyeglasses. You gave the contacts and make-up a well-deserved break. You were introduced to the world of online church, Zoom staff meetings, and Netflix binge watching. Without eyeglasses and Zoom filters, my face would not have remained virtually make-up free for longer than I care to admit.

And to follow up, thank you Netflix for your eerily coincidental drop of Tiger King. That oddly addictive, inappropriate, but undeniably entertaining show provided hours of discussion, meme-sharing, TikTok dances, and uncomfortable moments while introducing us to the bizarre world of Joe Exotic. And don’t forget that now you have us all wondering, Did Carol Baskin really kill her husband? The world may never know.

Another shout out goes to my living room furniture. Without you, I would not know what it was like to read, work-from-home, watch TV, and eat my dinner all for hours at a time from a reclined position. I never knew that one could lay around for so long that the hip joints could actually begin to ache.

It is worth mentioning again that I would also like to recognize and thank you, Pringles. Your crunchy, salty goodness provided immeasurable enjoyment while still allowing me to continue a semi-healthy diet. You sat alongside grilled cheese sandwiches, salads, avocado toast, and Spaghetti-O’s. In a time of uncertainty, I always knew that a quick trip to the gas station could replace that cheerful red paper can in the pantry between the quinoa and Ramen noodles.

Finally, I want to thank Zoom and Google Hangouts, and Facetime. You provided hours of work-from-home capabilities, meetings, virtual church, virtual happy-hours, and phone conversations with friends and family. We were able to connect in ways that only the Jetsons or voyagers on the Starship Enterprise could have experienced in my childhood. We connected when connection shouldn’t have been possible.

Never in my life have I experienced anything like this stay-at-home order, and I may never again. I will never forget this time spent at home. And now I really know what it means to appreciate the little things, like sweatpants and eyeglasses.  

Mask Fashion

I was recently scrolling on Zulily, the online shopping site that has literally everything. And by everything, I mean, if you’re trying to live a minimalist lifestyle, don’t ever, ever go on Zulily. Things are usually priced very well and it is extremely easy to go overboard replacing everything in a standard sized walk in closet in a matter of minutes (don’t ask me how I know this). When I watched The Minimalists movie on Netfilx, I was introduced to “fast fashion,” which is detrimental to someone trying to NOT be a shopaholic. According to Investopedia.com, “Fast fashion is the term used to describe clothing designs that move quickly from the catwalk to stores to meet new trends. The collections are often based on designs presented at Fashion Week events. Fast fashion allows mainstream consumers to purchase trendy clothing at an affordable price,” (https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/fast-fashion.asp). So as I was scrolling, looking to update my work-at-home sweatpants wardrobe, I came across “fashion masks.” That’s right- masks are not just necessary to avoid spreading Covid-19, they are now a fashion accessory in America. I knew it was going to happen. When I first started making masks back in March using left over fabric, I was thinking “Oh, that would look cute with my blue sweater!” Really. I was way ahead of the fashion masks curve. I started making masks with bandana fabric and thought, “Oh, this is cute!” Cute? I started seeing people wearing masks with prints that most likely reflected their interests such as cats, sports teams, and camouflage. When my educator friends and I started talking about returning to school in the fall (most likely) wearing masks,  I mentioned that we would probably need masks for various holidays and masks to coordinate with our outfits. My friends started placing their orders for Detroit Tigers, MSU, U of M, and Green Bay Packers masks, among others. Our fun sock collections will be complimented by our equally fun mask collections. I really think this kind of mask fashion is only limited to the US, because when I watch clips of other countries like China or Italy, I don’t see anybody wearing Sponge Bob Square Pants masks. If you search for “homemade masks” on Pinterest, you can find masks made out of socks, no-sew bandana masks, masks made from gallon milk jugs (I kid you not) and masks made out of bra cups (again, not kidding). I just hope we don’t see one that says “Fruit of the Loom” across the top. That’s one fast fashion/repurposing trend that I hope to never see on Zulily.

At Least my Jeans Still Fit

Recently we had a Zoom staff meeting, in which we met on the Zoom app in order to discuss the week’s school business remotely. My boss likes to start our meetings with some sort of ice-breaker so he asked us to each share one positive. While my co-workers shared things like “learned how to crochet” and “raising chicks in my basement,” my only share was “I can still fit in my jeans,” and I wasn’t kidding. I am actually shocked every time I,

1.     Actually put on a pair of jeans these days

2.     Realize that they still fit.

Rachel Brougham, (Petoskey News Review) wasn’t kidding when she asked in a recent column if anyone else is eating like a 14 year old boy during this stay-at-home order. I can honestly say, “Yes, Rachel. I too, am eating like a 14 year old boy.” You might be surprised to find out that this “good little cooker” as my husband used to call me, has developed an unusual craving for Pringles. During the days of a normal 8-4 work week, I’m a fairly healthy eater. My lunches used to consist of things like green beans, cashews, and an apple. I usually eat an uber-heathy Larabar for breakfast. Dinners are kind of a toss-up, but almost always void of processed foods. You would think that someone who has been spending a large amount of time in a basement office these days would be rarin’ to come upstairs and cook something healthy and delicious. Not so. There is no more weekly menu. After my virtual school day ends, I scroll through Pinterest, trying to find something to cook last-minute. After all, my college son is quarantined with us, so wouldn’t I want to cook for him? Nope. I’ve learned that if my timing is right, he will heat up a pastie from the freezer or make himself a flat bread pizza. If he and Tom feed themselves, I’m free to eat that can of Spaghetti O’s and you guessed it, Pringles. The first few weeks of stay-at-home, I was baking like crazy. I made homemade Naan bread, loaves of bread, chewy granola bars, and cookies. I was starting to feel like The Pioneer Woman. But since the stay-at-home order was extended, things have steadily gone downhill. Maybe it’s situational. I really do like going to work. I’m meant to be around people and have a schedule. Maybe my healthy habits will return when normalcy does.  I actually have had some spurts of inspiration. Yesterday we ventured out to the grocery store and I bought a bunch of vegetables, and have them roasting in the oven. Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf. As I wait for them to finish, I’ll just finish off this can of Pringles and hope I can still fit into my jeans.

Life at a Social Distance

In the midst of this global pandemic, I found myself sitting in my living room, looking ahead to the next three and a half (or more) weeks, wondering, “What I am going to do with myself?” (other than wash my hands compulsively). When the covid19 virus hysteria initially began I did not for the life of me, believe that I would be sitting here “socially distancing” myself from the rest of the community. I tried to put it into perspective, knowing that this isn’t just a mini-summer break. I still need to be working from home and doing my best to interact with school families. Even doing that, I still have significantly more time on my hands. Before the Stay-at-Home order, I had been out and about, minimally speaking. I went to Walmart, Family Fare, and Grain Train. But those errands have quickly run their courses, so I have had to get more creative with my non-working hours.

You might already know that I am a list-maker. So of course I have compiled a list of things that I need to do and things I can do in order to stay busy and keep my mind occupied. I kind of think of it as a practice run for retirement. I know that when we retire, we won’t be semi-quarantined, but you never know what kind of germophobe I might turn into after this. If you find yourself being told to stay home from work and are running out of ideas, here are a few of the things I plan on doing to ward off cabin fever.

·      Put together the chicken puzzle I got for my birthday a few years ago

·      Have a Bananagrams tournament against myself

·      Finish crocheting the duster-vest I started a year ago.

·      Read the 4 borrowed books that I have been saving and the 3 books I bought

·      Watch some classic movies that I have never seen, like Gone with the Wind

·      Make more soap with the supplies I bought last summer

There are some things that I have resolved to avoid as well. I have decided to watch as little network Corona-reporting as possible. I understand the situation. I am being cautious and heeding warnings. I am not, however bulk-buying toilet paper, peanut butter, or Clorox wipes.  The virus is spreading. That’s a given. So why not dust off the pile of books I’ve been saving, finish some of those unfinished crafts, and understand that this time to just hunker down and relax is a gift. I feel like I should end by saying that I am so very grateful for those who are continuing to work in hospitals, grocery stores, gas stations, etc… Their selflessness has not gone unnoticed.