It's the Little Things

I was talking to my friend at lunch the other day. I was telling her about the bread we are eating now. I said, “We buy the $7/loaf of bread from Oleson’s. It only has 4 ingredients, and you have to keep it in the fridge because it doesn’t have any preservatives.” “I can’t spend that much on bread because my kids eat a lot of bread.” she replied. “Oh don’t feel bad,” I said, “we bought the cheap bread when the kids were still at home!” Sadly, it’s the honest truth. We also buy the natural peanut butter and fancy jam now too. There are actually quite a few things we do now that the kids are gone that we didn’t do when they were here.

We take vacations. We weren’t a traveling family. We rarely took vacations. Partly because it was so costly, but partly because we just didn’t do well together as a family cooped up in a vehicle for long periods of time. We didn’t have an in-car video set-up so taking the Xbox or movies required an extremely complicated system of extension cords and adaptors. So rather than spending a lot of money and time not getting along, we mostly confined our family time and travels to places we could visit in 3 days or less. In the past year Tom and I have taken three 4-day vacations. Two out of three of those trips we flew.

We eat out… a lot. I have written recently about my failure as a “cooking for two” cook. I remember commenting (or judging is more accurate), Toms parents. “Why do they eat out so much? Your mom is an awesome cook! If I could cook as well as she does, you wouldn’t be eating out that much” I can and we do.

I am systematically redecorating each room of the house. Our house has looked the same for the last twelve years, other than the one year we replaced the living room carpet. First, we replaced most of the living room furniture. We had to, actually, because I gave all of the old stuff to furnish Robby’s apartment. Robby’s room was next. I turned it from a poster covered teenage boy’s room to a cute, nautical, Charlevoix Venetian-themed room with a queen size bed, coordinating bedding and knick-knacks. Sammy’s room is next. I have that one slated for a whimsical “under the sea” vibe with artsy-craftsy wall hangings that I picked up at this craft show or on that vacation.

And finally, we bought a room air conditioner. That one was a necessity. I mean, we didn’t do that when the boys were here because we thought it would be unfair to sleep in the cool comfort of our bedroom while they sweated it out in theirs. But as soon as the first hot night hit in late May, we loaded up the van with that unit and it saved our summer.

I do miss having my boys here at home, but I am learning there is a whole new world to this empty nest thing. Starting with a preservative-free sandwich made with natural peanut butter and homemade jam.

Doin' the Wave

I consider myself to be a friendly person. I try to say “Hello” or “Good morning” to people I see. I try to acknowledge everyone I know and wave at all of the wavers, but sometimes I miss someone and don’t return the greeting. People have said to me “I walked right past you and you didn’t even notice me!” I feel really bad when that happens because it’s totally unintentional. The same is true when it comes to waving at other drivers. I’m usually off in my own little world when I’m driving in my car and if someone waves and I catch it at the last second I do feel bad for not returning the greeting. 

When we got our first motorcycle, I learned that there was a tradition of waving to each other. At first the whole waving thing was kind of fun. I was just a passenger then and it felt kind of like being in a cool club. I sat on the back and could see everyone who waved, but quickly became surprised at the sheer number of wavers on the road. It can be a little daunting when you pass 10 bikers, car, car, 5 bikers, car, car, car, one biker (did I get everyone?). Tom tended to agree that it was getting a little out of hand, “But,” he said, “what if some guy is just out having a great time riding and he waves it me and I don’t wave back and then it just ruins his day? I don’t want to be the one to do that.” So I waved. But after a while it was only to the ones I actually saw wave first. And then when I got my own motorcycle, waving was not happening because I was terrified of letting go of the handlebars. After I got more comfortable I would wave back. But again, the waving was starting to get to be more of a responsibility than a friendly gesture. Did these people waving at me do it because they really wanted to say “Hello,” or because it was something they are supposed to do? Because it’s actually not a wave, it’s sticking your arm out low, next to your leg. I like to put my hand up and wave like a kid. “Hi! Have a nice day!” (big silly grin). I know, it’s not cool and bikerish, but you get my point. These days, I kind of wait it out to see if the oncoming biker is going to stick his arm out. Then I sort of assess the situation. Some people don’t even look at me when they wave. They just stare straight ahead. I wonder if they even care if I wave back or not.

Years ago we had a VW Bug and there was a whole waving community. We sold “the wave” when we sold the bug. And now we have the Jeep. As soon as we bought it Tom said, “You know Jeep drivers wave at each other.” Again? “Are you kidding me? Which ones? The CJ people? The 4 door people? New Jeeps? Old Jeeps? What about the whole Jeep SUV family of vehicles? Next I suppose you’re going to tell me there’s a Subaru wave!” So if you see me on the road on my motorcycle or in my Jeep and I don’t wave, I’m not being rude. I probably didn’t see you.

It's on the List!

The end of summer is quickly approaching and I must admit, so far it has been a great one. The weather has been close to perfect. My summer job this year was teaching summer school, which was during the month of July, so I had the whole month of June to get a lot of stuff done. When I have things that need to get done, I make a list. Then I’m sure I’ll get everything done. That list I’m talking about is just a list that sort of floats around in my head during the school year. It’s the “I’ll do it during the summer” list. Here are some of the jobs on that list.

            -Clean out and organize the attic

            -Go through clothes and make a Good Will run

            -Plant flowers in the front flower boxes

            -Sew stuff/do the mending

            -Paint Sammy’s room

-Wash windows (who am I kidding? This one should read, “Hire someone to wash windows)

It’s that list of jobs that I’m now saving for a rainy day, but unfortunately (or fortunately), this summer, the rainy days have been few and far between. Why would I climb around in my hot, stuffy attic when it’s beautiful outside?

I’d like to say that I’ve tackled that long list of “to-do’s” that I had planned for myself, but I’m slightly ashamed to admit, I haven’t been nearly as productive as I should have been. I can’t even blame Tom for this. None of the jobs on this list (except maybe the painting), are what I can even say that I couldn’t accomplish without his help. I could say there’s no excuse, but honestly, I’m not lacking for excuses. Some excuses come with time. “Its already 2:30, Tom will be home soon, (5:00), so I better not start a big job now.” So my flower boxes remain empty and my attic stays unorganized. It is so late in the summer now that the only thing that is going in those flower boxes are dead leaves. Although I have been going through stuff in my closet. I currently have a pile of clothes that no longer fit and as I step over it each morning I think to myself “I really need to take that stuff to Good Will.” And then I remind myself that it would make more sense to wait until I have gone through the other stuff (like the attic). Now that it’s August and I have to get ready for school to start, I’m sorry to report that these things aren’t going to get done this summer.  While I’d like to say I was highly motivated, I wasn’t. But what I can say is that I’ve had a great summer. The weather was beautiful and I have no complaints. As for my undone tasks? It’s ok. It’ll get done eventually. It’s on the list.

Update: After the realization that I had previously written about this topic (see “breakcrastination” column). I am happy to report that I’ve knocked out some of the items on the above list! If you’re wondering about the attic and the flower boxes…maybe next summer.